On a Plane
5.23.2015 Saturday
Five years ago, when I was finishing my freshman year of high school, if you asked me what I wanted to do with the rest of my life my responses would have been mixed. From the cliché “I don’t know. I’m only fifteen,” to my still ever present dream of mastering the culinary arts, it was clear I had no idea where life was taking me. I denied that I would ever attend Martin Luther College to become a teacher, though God clearly was leading me in that direction. I certainly never dreamt that I would be working towards being bilingual, again, part of God’s plan. Yet, here I am: officially a junior at MLC on a plane headed to Santiago, Chile, so I can continue studying Spanish.
“Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different...”
– C.S. Lewis
Wise words Lewis… Wise words.
Numerous, seemingly insignificant factors change and shape us every day so that when it comes down to it, we never expected to be where we are. We have these honorable and passionate aspirations as children and young adults and yet, for so many of us, as adults those desires have completely changed and become something so much more real. Good or bad, we can’t even begin to fantasize about all that our lives are going to hold.
I am a procrastinator. It is perhaps one of my greatest downfalls. Yesterday, I realized that I never checked to make sure I was up-to-date on vaccinations. Fortunately, I’m only missing one of the three recommended shots. Was it stupid to wait till the day before? Absolutely. Am I going to contract Hepatitis A? Hopefully not. As for packing, I did that this morning. Was I running around the house like a madwoman at seven in the morning? You betcha. Needless to say, I have not been responsible with this trip, this milestone, this incredible blessing.
Why? As I prepared to leave the country this morning, I realized how sometimes these goals and dreams of the extraordinary achievements which we desire our lives to be are surrounded with doubts and even fears. Now that I am on my way, I am truly excited that I am going on such an incredible adventure. Yesterday though, I was scared out of my mind and filled with ever-changing, nameless emotions. It is frightening to leave behind everything you know and vow to speak a language that you’ve only studied for a short time. Yesterday I was tired. Yesterday I was grumpy. Yesterday my brain was so frazzled and overwhelmed with thoughts that it was difficult to even form a coherent sentence in my native tongue, the language I’m not supposed to be worried about! That is fear. That is stress. That is unnecessary.
Yet, here I am on a plane slowly approaching the destination that I once was so ecstatic to reach, now wishing I were headed in the opposite direction. I can’t say I’m not excited to be on my way to a future which holds the things I cannot imagine. I see the blessings and I want to be in Chile at this very moment. However, in my mind I have marked Chile as the next chapter in my life, a marker to a new beginning. Though only a five week trip, it is the launch of the next year of my life, a year where nearly ten months will be spent in South America, in a place with a different language, a different culture, and countless strangers. Traveling has always been something I wanted to do, but for years my heart yearned for Europe: for Greek history, Italian villas, Irish cliffs, and French food. I don’t know when it changed, but oh how I long for South America now: for the Amazon River, for fresh fruit, for Machu Picchu, for incredible mountains and so much more. Step by step, my life, my dreams have shifted. I want to and will go to Europe someday, but right now, Chile is calling my name.
I may be scared, but it is often when we face our fears that we encounter the greatest marvels of the world and solve our own personal mysteries. In hardships we grow, we adapt, we become better. And when it comes down to it, that’s why I’m here. To grow in my knowledge of a beautiful language that makes travel and communication easier. To adapt to a culture that is not my own and come to love its uniqueness. To better my skills and myself so that someday I can teach in a bilingual classroom, so that I can travel more of this astounding creation, so that I can have the opportunity to be a missionary to more of God’s people.
Today, if you asked me what my plans are for five years from now, I could rattle off to you a few of my dreams. However, I still can’t comprehend how much five years can transform my life. I don’t know what my dreams will be five years from now let alone five days from now. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring when I wake up to a runway in Santiago just as much as I don’t know where my life would be headed had I decided to stay in Colorado. I don’t know all of the ways that this adventure is going to change my life. But isn’t that the marvel of life? The splendor of the unknown. In this moment despite my apprehensions and fear, I am eager to take this next step into the start of a year that will transform me.
Ciao!
Voy a Chile. Voy a mi futuro.
Five years ago, when I was finishing my freshman year of high school, if you asked me what I wanted to do with the rest of my life my responses would have been mixed. From the cliché “I don’t know. I’m only fifteen,” to my still ever present dream of mastering the culinary arts, it was clear I had no idea where life was taking me. I denied that I would ever attend Martin Luther College to become a teacher, though God clearly was leading me in that direction. I certainly never dreamt that I would be working towards being bilingual, again, part of God’s plan. Yet, here I am: officially a junior at MLC on a plane headed to Santiago, Chile, so I can continue studying Spanish.
“Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different...”
– C.S. Lewis
Wise words Lewis… Wise words.
Numerous, seemingly insignificant factors change and shape us every day so that when it comes down to it, we never expected to be where we are. We have these honorable and passionate aspirations as children and young adults and yet, for so many of us, as adults those desires have completely changed and become something so much more real. Good or bad, we can’t even begin to fantasize about all that our lives are going to hold.
I am a procrastinator. It is perhaps one of my greatest downfalls. Yesterday, I realized that I never checked to make sure I was up-to-date on vaccinations. Fortunately, I’m only missing one of the three recommended shots. Was it stupid to wait till the day before? Absolutely. Am I going to contract Hepatitis A? Hopefully not. As for packing, I did that this morning. Was I running around the house like a madwoman at seven in the morning? You betcha. Needless to say, I have not been responsible with this trip, this milestone, this incredible blessing.
Why? As I prepared to leave the country this morning, I realized how sometimes these goals and dreams of the extraordinary achievements which we desire our lives to be are surrounded with doubts and even fears. Now that I am on my way, I am truly excited that I am going on such an incredible adventure. Yesterday though, I was scared out of my mind and filled with ever-changing, nameless emotions. It is frightening to leave behind everything you know and vow to speak a language that you’ve only studied for a short time. Yesterday I was tired. Yesterday I was grumpy. Yesterday my brain was so frazzled and overwhelmed with thoughts that it was difficult to even form a coherent sentence in my native tongue, the language I’m not supposed to be worried about! That is fear. That is stress. That is unnecessary.
Yet, here I am on a plane slowly approaching the destination that I once was so ecstatic to reach, now wishing I were headed in the opposite direction. I can’t say I’m not excited to be on my way to a future which holds the things I cannot imagine. I see the blessings and I want to be in Chile at this very moment. However, in my mind I have marked Chile as the next chapter in my life, a marker to a new beginning. Though only a five week trip, it is the launch of the next year of my life, a year where nearly ten months will be spent in South America, in a place with a different language, a different culture, and countless strangers. Traveling has always been something I wanted to do, but for years my heart yearned for Europe: for Greek history, Italian villas, Irish cliffs, and French food. I don’t know when it changed, but oh how I long for South America now: for the Amazon River, for fresh fruit, for Machu Picchu, for incredible mountains and so much more. Step by step, my life, my dreams have shifted. I want to and will go to Europe someday, but right now, Chile is calling my name.
I may be scared, but it is often when we face our fears that we encounter the greatest marvels of the world and solve our own personal mysteries. In hardships we grow, we adapt, we become better. And when it comes down to it, that’s why I’m here. To grow in my knowledge of a beautiful language that makes travel and communication easier. To adapt to a culture that is not my own and come to love its uniqueness. To better my skills and myself so that someday I can teach in a bilingual classroom, so that I can travel more of this astounding creation, so that I can have the opportunity to be a missionary to more of God’s people.
Today, if you asked me what my plans are for five years from now, I could rattle off to you a few of my dreams. However, I still can’t comprehend how much five years can transform my life. I don’t know what my dreams will be five years from now let alone five days from now. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring when I wake up to a runway in Santiago just as much as I don’t know where my life would be headed had I decided to stay in Colorado. I don’t know all of the ways that this adventure is going to change my life. But isn’t that the marvel of life? The splendor of the unknown. In this moment despite my apprehensions and fear, I am eager to take this next step into the start of a year that will transform me.
Ciao!
Voy a Chile. Voy a mi futuro.
Comments
Post a Comment